The email you just do not want to get ...

To: All Metro Traffic employees

From: John Hogan

Welcome to Clear Channel Radio!

As you may have already heard, Clear Channel has acquired Metro Traffic from Westwood One, and I would like to welcome you to our Clear Channel team. We look forward to Metro and Clear Channel’s Total Traffic Network (TTN) working together to build new relationships.

Metro Traffic’s business is complementary to that of TTN, Clear Channel’s traffic reporting entity. Metro has a very strong set of affiliates and network sales model that is complementary to our offerings. Together, we will deliver better and more comprehensive 24/7 traffic information to consumers; stronger programming for affiliates; a broader reach and more compelling platform for advertisers; and greater innovation in product development, service and digital technology.

This transaction reflectsClear Channel Radio’s strategy of building leadership positions in the most attractive segments of the local media and content creation businesses. Thecombination of TTN and Metro Traffic will provide radio and TV stations, mobile devices and car navigation systems with up-to-the-minute real-time traffic and news information covering the widest possible area.

Clear Channel's Total Traffic Network, including Metro Traffic, will report to Rick Baran, Chief Financial Officer of Clear Channel Radio. Steve Kalin will remain President of Metro Traffic, primarily overseeing the radio traffic business. Fred Bennett will continue in his current role as President of the Metro Television business. The rest of the Metro Traffic senior management team will also continue in their roles, including Michael Reznick as EVP Radio Ad Sales, John Frawley as EVPOperations, Mike Haake as EVP Affiliate Sales and Wayne Lizzi as SVP TV Ad Sales. Rod Sherwood will remain with Westwood One.

We will spend the next several months focused on integrating the two businesses and examining our operations. In the meantime, it is very important that you continue the good work you’ve been doing. We have a lot of challenges ahead, and we need you to be at the top of your game. We believe we have the right people to help us accelerate our growth in this expanding business, and that there will be new and bigger opportunities for our employees moving forward.

To help answer any questions you might have about becoming a Clear Channel employee, we will be sending you several emails no later than Monday morning regarding our overall Human Resources and Benefits processes; your Benefits choices; our 401K plan; and basic information on our email and IT systems. If you have any questions regarding the Human Resources and benefits process that aren’t addressed after you’ve received these emails, please contact .

We’ll keep you posted with updates on our progress. We’re glad to have you on board.

Regards,
John Hogan

Carefully read through the memo from Hogan noticing all the weasel words and corporate bulls**t.  If you're involved in this deal, all you want to know is how much your income will be impacted and if you're going to be able to keep up the rent or mortgage paymemts and if your medical coverage will continue. 

Who cares which EVP, SVP, or CFO will remain in place? 

When will these dunder heads get this and either say truthfully (which will likely be the case) that they'll be roaring through the company's new acquisition like the Good Friday Tornado, chopping what they think of as deadwood right and left?

Bottom line question:  do I still have a job?  Why can't these a**holes just say yes or no?

Discuss on the STL Media Message Board. (Registration Required)