Replacing Kris Kelly at KEZK, for $12.50/hour ...

Brace yourself! Much like the sighting of a rare white elk, there's a full-time opening at CBS AC KEZK/St. Louis. Holy crap! PD Mark Edwards is in need of what he calls "the best AC midday air personality on the planet" (hey, no pressure!) to fill the empty, spinning chair left behind by Kris Kelly's departure in October. Do you have at least four years' experience and can do kickass commercial production? Can you convincingly fake a deep, unwavering fanaticism for the Chicago Cubs while living in Cardinal Country? Then you just might be the person for this gig! Apply through the CBS Radio Career Center, but act fast -- opportunities like this come about, well, maybe as often as the Cubs win the World Series. And no calls, dammit!

Priceless!