My Personal Do-Over

By Frank Absher

In what passed for humor a couple decades ago, there was a tee shirt showing a woman who cried out in anguish, “I can’t believe it. I forgot to have kids!”

It didn’t strike me as particularly funny either, but the sentiment can be applied to a lot of situations, including one I’ve experienced. It’s the one thing I would change in my life if I had a chance to do things over.

As I pursued my dream of making a living in radio, I had to come up with ways to find other sources of income to support my wife and (later) son. These usually involved working at least two other part-time jobs.

The rest of my life suffered.

The marriage ended in divorce. It was wrong of me to put her through that kind of constant financial struggle.

Unsaid at the time was the fact that we had very little “life.” I was so focused and was working so many hours that we didn’t have much of a chance to partake of what life was offering us.

Aside from working in Joliet, IL., I was lucky enough to work in other places that offered opportunities for enjoyment. Joliet had no socially redeeming qualities whatsoever.

But it wouldn’t have been hard to find that kind of asset in every other market I worked. My biggest loss was while I was in the Air Force: I worked seven days a week at three radio stations and one television station in Anchorage. Even in winter, there were places to go, things to do, and a natural beauty there that was beyond description.

I’ve been back to Alaska five times since then and have just been amazed at the breathtaking beauty of the place. Within an hour’s drive of our apartment were natural wonders that just begged to be experienced, but I was too busy.

Harry Chapin sang about how good life would be “if I could find the time.” I really wish I had been wise enough all those years ago to have made the time to savor life and the people around me more. On the other hand, I’m grateful to be alive now and to be able to visit and take it all in.

If there’s a positive side to all this, it’s that I didn’t completely miss out. I learned the value of savoring such stuff and am fully intent on doing it in my remaining time on earth.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved my work and the people I met there, and that work led me to better jobs later.

It’s just that I now know there’s more to life than professional accomplishment, and if you’re completely focused on your job, life is much too one-dimensional.

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